I'm trying my best to update this blog as this is gonna be my dairy from today onwards.
Since, I can't fall asleep right now. I thought about something that has been bothering me this few years.
It's a male. Haha! I realized why I had not love you anymore cuz feelings fade. I know that I have been clinging onto that person, which I everyday had been praying or making myself believe that we would be back together. But all this time I have been deceiving myself, it dint came true. But I'm really glad that you were my first, and I will miss the time I loved you before, I missed the years I was so devoted to you and I miss the times I would think of you. Somehow, my heart ached before. It hurts a lot, but it doesn't matter anymore. Everything about you to me has became more of a habit actually. I really wished that I could be really normal friends with you like how others do, yet I'm scared somehow. I regretted, not knowing you more as a friend. Now we are really on our seperate ways, as we have different paths and journeys in our life. I used to think that maybe I would or might get into the same poly as you, it won't happen anymore. It's hilarous how I have such hope, but everything is okay now. I don't think we would meet anymore. So farewell, my first and thank you for being my first.
Delicated to my first.
Ann yeong. :)